October 2012


























































So I’ve just been home in October for the first time in years.  It was only wanting to see the family that brought me.   The old haunted/must return to the Valley feelings dissipated after completing and showing October Country.  It’s like I finally sealed the Valley within me with the help of Mike and that film.  In fact upon my return October Country played in Portland.  I thought it would be strange to see everyone as they were years back after being with them just days ago.  While the movie played though their  current existence was eclipsed by the present tense of the film. I didn’t once think of how they look or have progressed  (or not) since the filming took place.  In fact the movie hit me in the gut like it used to while we were editing. At times it hurt and pulled love and laughter out of me almost as much when the events were happening in front of my eyes.  The only concession my mind made to the time difference between life and film was wondering what reaction the family would have if they watched it now.  

For now everyone is getting by despite evictions and poor health and other typical troubles. My parents are working too hard but seem calm and satisfied for once.  Donna was deathly sick  and has gone through  another round  of hell with violent men but  her  ferocious bitch-wit its intact and she  seems to have come through the fire once again.  Desi is a constant  and miraculous blend of  cynicism and potential but I worry that the regional curse of apathy will catch up with her. Chris is in Pennsylvania with a new family. Daneal and I have had a falling out but she’s now a waitress at Denny’s in a far off town and doing well (after going off the deep end once again.)    Denise rarely leaves the house but has ghosts running in circles round her so she says she’s not lonely.  As usual, I’m not convinced that the unfulfilled semi-existence of a ghost can cure loneliness. But then she’s made a life of it hasn’t she. The whole Valley has.